KEEP CALM AND CHECK FACEBOOK...

I have a habit. It’s something that I’ve done for so long now it’s pretty much become second nature. It’s a comfort, a time killer, an entertainer, an awkward social situation distracter, a life distractor and a means for eternal “connection”. It’s checking facebook on my phone. Every. 20. Minutes.

I don’t even know why I check it so often. It’s as though my itchy fingers can never be idle and if they’re caught without something to do then swiping right is the most logical answer.

I’ve always been subconsciously aware of this habit, deeming it typical of generation Y to have some form of electronic device glued to their hot little hand. I’m just a gen Y, doing my thing right? Yeah this bank queue is going really slow, no problem! I’ll check facebook! My doctor is running 5 minutes late and im SO BORED! No worries! I’ll check facebook. I haven’t been on facebook for 20 minutes, dammit KEEP CALM AND CHECK FACEBOOK. When this becomes your life mantra then you know you have a problem.

So today I made a decision. No I didn’t delete facebook (obviously). Aside from being a great source of entertainment and a place to stalkerishly keep and eye on my friends, I find it quite handy for keeping ties with foreign and far away friends and relatives. But lets be honest, is one of these said friends/relatives going to be contacting me every 20 minutes? I don’t think so. I decided to delete the facebook app off my phone. I thought if I made it a little less accessible then I’d be able to slow my compulsive facebook checking. I’ll only be able to “check in” when I have my laptop available. I’m going to try and keep it off my phone until after new years day at least.

“BULLSHIT” you say.. “how is she going to check all her birthday, Christmas and new years messages every 5 minutes during the biggest holiday season of the year” well, I won’t be able to. You know what, the idea of it is kinda refreshing.

I’m actually looking forward to not knowing what your adorable boyfriend made you for brunch, or your aunty sue bought you for your baht mitzvah, or what your opinion on Jacqui Lambie is. And if it’s something I really need to know I’m sure someone will text me the information... hopefully... just incase my number is 0402701678... you might even be compelled to call me, with actual vocal communication. 

So wish me luck on my facebook app free trial period. I know it’s going to be tough and interesting. Hopefully it will curb the cravings and give me my life back... but if you see a girl in a bank queue with her face buried in her laptop it will probably be me…

The Nutrition Religion.

So, apparently i'm dying.

Ok, that was perhaps a little bit dramatic. But according to every vegan, Paleo, vegetarian, gluten free, sugar free, dairy free, substance free and taste free blog writer, I am killing myself with what I eat.

Being a massive believer in nutritious food, I have been trying over the last year (admittedly, fairly halfheartedly) to find a "diet fad" that works for me. I've been looking for a regime to follow that leaves me satisfied, energised and happy. To say the least I am left feeling a little confused.

I feel like the super foodies of the inter webs are currently at war and they are using fear to harbour their beliefs. I click on a vegan page and i'm told that by putting death (such as a delicious piece of roast chicken) into my body I will promote unhealthiness and encourage negative energy in my body. Flick over to a Paleo inspired blog and I will be warned on the dangers of grain and dairy, whilst meat which has been previously demonised by the vegans becomes a wholesome and vitalising food source. Sugar is a devil food that will eat my soul and anything with saturated fats will give you an instant heart attack...

But wait! aren't saturated fats good for you now? WTF?! SOMEONE HAND ME A STICK OF BUTTER!

I think the saddest part is I now have a broken relationship with food. If i'm at a birthday party, and someone hands me a piece of cake, I can't help but think "I really shouldn't be eating this". Or if I go out for dinner and order desert I eat every single bite with remorse, fretting over the fact that it's "unhealthy". I believe ultimately these negative thoughts about occasional foods are worse than the occasional foods themselves.

The current era of nutrition religion is beginning to define us as individuals. I've taken note of how often people bring up what "diet" they follow within the first few minutes of meeting someone new. It's as though they feel they have to communicate this to verify who they are. Does it make me a sustenance atheist if I struggle to fit into any of these categories? I'm like the lost little lamb of the shepherds flock... (mmmmm lamb).

This is not supposed to be an attacking post about people who are passionate about what they put in their bodies. To be honest, I wish that I had the mental and physical control to only eat a certain way. I applaud their dedication and commitment. I just wish it wasn't so damn confusing.

In the meantime i'll continue to eat cake at birthdays and try to rekindle my romance with food..

image from Local Milk Blog.

say "food" enough and it starts to sound weird.

FOOD! FOOD! I LOVE FOOD!

but seriously, I love food. I'm what I would call a lazy foodie. I think about food, I dream about food, I look food up on Pinterest, I read about food, I buy loads of recipe books and follow some seriously amazing cooks on instagram, but I don't really do all that much cooking of the food. 

My first challenge to myself in this so called journey of self discovery and the meaning of life (deep, i know) is to start to cook more food. But I don't mean the usual chicken soup 7 different ways for every day of the week. I mean learning to cook properly and venturing a little further than meat, couscous and veggies (even though that can be delish too). 

I get distracted very easily and i'm notorious for making a mess when i do most things. Couple this with an extreme lack of culinary creativity and you have yourself a recipe for kitchen disaster ('scuse the pun). So, much to the horror of my unsuspecting boyfriend, a "cook all meals" challenge for the rest of June seems like a splendid idea. I'm going to try and learn some new kitchen tricks and hopefully master some delicious new recipes. Don't worry, i'll share what I find. And if you live near me I might even have you over for a meal? 

Bon appétit!

google searching the soul.

There is a question I keep asking myself that seems to go unanswered every time. It's probably the most asked question of the entire human race and it's a question that continues to taunt and confuse, mystify and bewilder. Frankly, it may never be answered entirely, but one can only try to start understanding. So without further ado, and at the risk of sounding like a long haired hippy high on the prospect of personal revolution (and probably other things):

WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?

I envy those who have figured things out. I envy even more the people who are not bothered by this question or couldn't care less about the answer. People who are content with the lives they are building, knowing it suits them entirely and makes them extensively happy. How do I achieve this state?! please. someone give me the answer?!

Well, unfortunately, no amount of internet searching, pinterest browsing or magazine flicking is going to help me with this. So it's time to go a little further and google the depths of my soul (yes I'm aware of how lame that line is) for a little bit of life inspiration. 

It's so easy to be comfortable and become complacent, get stuck in negative routines and take the easy way instead of the road less travelled. It's time to start challenging myself and hopefully i'll start to find a little peace of mind (or maybe a piece of cake?)

This chocolate coconut cake will probably give me a purpose. From one of my favourite blogs Local Milk

going batty.

I've missed this lady.
Natasha Kahn, aka Bat For Lashes, has been off the scene for a couple of years now and it's so exciting to have her back.
Her latest album, The Haunted Man, is a beautiful example of her elaborate musical craftsmanship. The raw instruments, such as the flute used in Winter Fields, creates depth and texture. Her trade mark haunting, smokey vocals are intricately layered and rich, drawing you in and evoking the senses.
My personal favourite is "Laura".
Have a listen.

there is a door.

There is a door that is open wide,
I stand,
Just inside,
Waiting.
All my opportunities come at once,
They push and shove,
They jam together,
They are stuck.
Just.
My.
Luck.
Won't one of you push a little harder?
Make yourself clear!
I'm standing here,
Waiting.
I'm trying hard to reach a little further,
I want to pull you all through,
What to do?
Time is passing,
Here I stand,
Nothing yet planned.
Life is so bland.
I shut the door,
I just can't wait anymore.

a letter to my dog.

Dear Pippin,

You lay sleeping on "Daddy's" lap next to me on the couch as I write this. Your squishy little nose is twitching in the midst of some dream where you are probably chewing a bone or chasing your frisbee. You're kinda snoring and I want to pull on your whiskers and annoy you.

I wish you could understand me when I tell you how much I love you. I have never experienced love quite the same way as i have from you. You are never mad or angry at me and it's so nice that you are ridiculously excited to see me every time i walk in the door, even if I've only just gone out for 5 minutes.

You are always ready for a cuddle, especially when I'm feeling particularly at odds with the world. Your favourite spot to sit is in my lap and you always want to be near me, even when i've just been exercising and smell like old socks.

You don't care if i wear no make up and my hair looks like a birds nest in the morning. You don't mind if i forget to feed you at the same time every day and you don't judge me if I spill half my dinner on the floor every time i eat. Actually i think you like that about me because you come straight over and clean it up for me. Saves me a lot of mopping!

You are incredibly intelligent and I'm so impressed with how quickly you learn things! Sometimes i even think you understand what i'm saying to you because you give me a knowing look. Sometimes you just tilt your head to the side like you think I'm a crazy person.

Sometimes you chew my slippers and it upsets me a bit, but then you look at me with your goggly brown eyes and put your head on my knee and all the anger melts away.

Thank you for loving us unconditionally. I hope you feel as happy and loved being with us as we do being with you.


I love you my little squippies,
Love Mummy